History of my life in 2001/2002

i still remember when my last grandmother passed away...somewhere in 2001/20002. we were just came back from friday mass prayer at Masjid Bunut. doesnt it funny how i really still remember that we actually turned into our driveway coming back from mosque. as usual, our kitchen was a bit quite since my mom was away to Singapore with my Granny. i made my way to the tv room and turned it on...i think it was mtv...just checking out whats the new video clip out there back then. then the phone rang.
i picked it up...not sure where the others were...it was my oldest brother. he said through the phone he wanted to talk to my dad. but he told me the news first...Granny passed away. i did not go break into tears at first...i just went blank...all i could think in my mind was "She's gone...this is serious...gonna get my dad" yelled for him and gave him the phone. on my way back to the tv....i knew my mind keep telling shes gone...shes gone. but im still blank, as if i did not know what to do. shud i cry my heart out? cry out loud? brokedown onto the floor? no i did not.
when i reached in front of the tv, i could hear my dad talking some stuff about my granny had passed away. if im not mistaken he was calming my mother down through the phone.
what i saw on the tv, not one visual images registered into my mind. coz...somehow my mind has gone hectic with 'things'. then after a while, it came clear to me...shes definitely gone and i wont see her ever again. i cried.....

all this time, i thought she neva cared about me so much...cause there are other of her grandchildren that she might preferred over me. after my family and i moved to Bandar, it was not that often we came to visit her. as she lived with my aunt's family back in KB.
she did, she cared about me, when i was little then...she kept advice about my health...cause i was big back then. there was this time, when i did not come to visit her for a long long time, when i finally visited her...she hugged me. i could not recalled what she said to me....but i definitely can still feel her warmth through her hug. *miss her

shes the only grand parents that i got to know in my life...cause others unfortunately taken away before i knew the world.

why i would talk about this here? i really do not know...perhaps..do u still remember that during this holy month of Ramadhan, there were certain days or the whole month...those has passed away..ur loved ones would released to the world and visit the living. who knows.

but all i wanted to say here...thats the reality of the world...we welcome our new loved ones and there would be a time where we lost our loved ones. not just im telling you this...im also reminding myself, to spent your life...spent the best time if its possible with your loved ones. insyallah when you look back, rather than shedding tears....you would smiling.

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